20 Funny Questions and Answers

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.
Q: How do locomotives hear?
A: Through the engineers.
Q: Why is tennis such a loud game?
A: Because each player raises a racquet.
Q: Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
Q: What two things can you not have for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.
Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Between you and me, something smells.
Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.
Q: What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
A: Some day my prints will come.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: It had too many problems.
Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: It held up a pair of pants.
Q: How do hair stylists speed up their job?
A: They take short cuts!
Q: What is a boxer’s favorite drink?
A: Punch.
Q: What did the light bulb say to its mother?
A: I wuv you watts and watts.
Q: How can you tell that a train just went by?
A: It left its tracks.
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: Just in case he got a hole in one!
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: I got you covered.
Q: What’s the tallest building in the world?
A: The library, because it has the most stories.
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A: I better not tell you, it might spread.
Q: What did the class clown take a computer to school?
A: Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
Q: Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?
A: At forks in the road.